Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
