My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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