I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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