Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize