i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
In other news, I just burned my penis
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
