i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
