Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
