well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
