On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
