so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
