you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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