My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
