it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
