I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
