Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
