i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
