fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
