You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
