it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
