i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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