Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
