She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
