Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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