It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
did you just send me my own nude
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
