Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
