they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
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