suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
