I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
