i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
