I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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