If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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