I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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