Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
