I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
