...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
