im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
