It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
