She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize