He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
