Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize