I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i wish my penis had a tongue
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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