So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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