I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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