I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I got inside last night via doggy door
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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