We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
