This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I stole a fireplace last night.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
The ass gains better be worth it
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