I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
