saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
