bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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