Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
