I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
