HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
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