I want to have your abortion
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
