I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I pour the whiskey from now on
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
