you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
