Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
