You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
