omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
