he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
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