Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
