we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
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