so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
should my penis look like a turkey
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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