why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
