Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
